From Titus Andronicus:
"Aaron - Why, are ye mad? or know ye not, in Rome
How furious and impatient they be,
And cannot brook competitors in love?
I tell you, lords, you do but plot your deaths
By this device. "
-------
Some venue, the specifics do not matter.
"Who are you here with?" a guy I know from ******* asks after randomly running into him.
I point out my girl.
"Oh, that girl every dude here is hitting on nonstop"
"Yep," I nod.
"Haha, you don't seem bothered?" he looks at me quizzically.
"I've dated other pretty girls....and it is what it is. You get used to it, kinda. So long as there's respect," as I look around the room and notice an attractive Asian girl staring me down because she saw my girls hands all over me earlier and her head laid on my shoulder in that way a submissive woman does.
"Yeah...."
---
Fast forward.
Some guy is chatting up my girl at the bar. I leave it be and work the room like I always do. I give her the healthy amount of flirting she wants but as with all things, it is also incumbent upon me to set boundaries.
I go to where she is and she introduces me.
This young kid tries to flex on me with the firm handshake move so I don't look away but rather my nonchalant attitude almost changes on a dime. .
I almost laugh at his hubris. Well played young kid. I can't knock the hustle.
Rather than overtly show she's mine, I opt to let him spin his tires and spin his tired.
I also think about choking him unconscious in the parking lot out back and my dead blue eyes looking into his this entire time for moments on end force him to look away first as we shake hands.
I make it ever so slightly uncomfortable as he tries to establish rapport by asking me some bullshit small talk questions to which I answer curtly with the stare that makes the "I know you're hitting on my girl motherfucker, spit your nonsense game all night for all it matters but she is leaving with me and I'm going to ravage that pussy you will never see before I fall asleep on top of the fact I already had her cum all over my dick this afternoon" look that cannot be faked.
Because he is young, he hasnt' learned when it's a lost cause so he keeps chatting her up.
He hangs out until the end of the night, staring at me awkwardly at various times; noticing my girl though she dances with others looks at me with that Cheshire cat grin women do so well when they know where the rode dick that afternoon and who is driving them home.
He belies his intentions and I roll my eyes knowing where this goes at the night, after his friends have left, in hopes of picking up my girl but I dismiss the notion of anger and settle for irritation because I'm kind of hungry and should have eaten dinner a bit later. I'm mad only with myself because I knew this would happen earlier in the evening but was lazy and didn't prevent it.
Some other dude I saw try to kiss my girl on the lips while they danced stands nearby awkwardly. I give him my thousand yard stare I perfected fighting in front of other people in a **** that too also cannot be faked. He also looks away quickly but the message is clear: I am watching you, you shady motherfucker. All is fair in love and war, but know that if you cross the line again you will not like my response.
I am not a violent man nor overly aggressive. I'm not even overtly possessive for the most part.
There's 3 billion women on earth. Other men will tolerate your shit. The best leash is the invisible kind.
That being said, I am completely and utterly comfortable dispensing decisive violence when necessary.
I don't know how others dudes walk the earth knowing they don't know how to fight or thinking they're a badass b/c they do crossfit or play some gay team sport.
I just don't get it, but to each his own.
The truth is, after years upon years end ad nauseum for thousands of hours of training in combat sports, I honestly have no desire to get arrested
So I take my girl and we head to the car so I can privately clarify my expectations for her and draw the line in the sand. If she's a good girl, the boundaries will make her feel safe and she will appreciate my willfulness. If she's a childish and petulant ingénue she'll brook the expectations and perhaps she'll find another man to tolerate her shit who she won't respect for just taking it.
The trick, is, finding the exact right balance of dominance without neediness or fear/insecurity.
As always, with a clever woman, the deft touch must be adroitly skillful.
Good luck and happy hunting,
- Yrs. in Christ
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