Against the Grain

I'm surrounded by the Friday Night masses at their church of inebriation.
I used to pray there but have since left the flock for greener, necessary pastures.

She just dropped me off to head to meet her friends. I put my feet to familiar pavement but I am sober and it doesn't even occur to me to drink.
The night air isn't quite cold but the wind blows and I pull my collar up and my hood over my head.

I post up with a group of friends, and a girl I met awhile back immediately begins talking to me. She is cute and were I not walking the straight and narrow I know exactly how this would unfold. She is classy, dark-haired, good skin, pretty face, mature, has her shit together, not a party girl, witty and observant. But as the stars cross, she is single and I must be a different person to stay sober.

As she talks, she takes a page from my book, and finds a way to touch me to emphasize a point and her touch game is subtle but disarming. She holds my gaze when she talks and her deep brown eyes promise smiles at the forefront and a commonality in our personality type that catches me a bit off guard and gives me pause.

I think of my girl and where she is and what she's doing but the night segues.
This girl grabs my hand as we cross the street b/c a car is turning toward us, again, subtle, but effective.

We're in a throng/mélange of people and we're running color commentary on who looks like shit and I've missed a girl with the critical skills of observation and I catch myself slipping so I reinstate frame and tell myself I will not lead this girl on nor let this turn into where I see it heading.
--

I'm sitting at the counter, eating late night food, this girl and I.
She's blowing this dude off via text while simultaneously telling me she wishes he'd act more like me.
She didn't get drunk nor act afool and I'm impressed.

I would honestly love to dick this chick down. But she is absolutely and profoundly the relationship type and I just don't do that shit anymore. I don't have the time or the energy to keep up the lies and the emotional divide necessary to balance women. I can't be that inauthentic anymore so I hug her bye, she kisses my cheek, and I step out in the night to pick up my girl and fuck the shit out of her which I do and she adores it and we sleep for hours in the dark.

 - Yrs. in Christ