Pep Talk: Observe What They Do, Not Hear What They Say

I'm talking with my ex-wife.
Her hand rests on my inner thigh.
I know it's not an accident.
She's reverted back to her young girl mannerisms in my presence and I know what she wants.
She wants my hand wrapped around her throat while she grabs my hips and admires my body as I fuck the shit out of her.

Normally, I'd consider it, however ill-advised, but I'm seeing a girl and I'm trying to play it on the straight and narrow which is a change of pace for me.
I feel some of my old ways spinning around inside my brain.
I feel my old lascivious nature whispering in hushed toned tales calling to my dick and asking for some sex.

By getting back out there, and talking and dating, I saw how easy it is now that I'm sober and not fucking it up by getting falling down drunk mid-interaction. If you can get past the potential of the chick not responding to your advances, the sky really is the limit.

Work out.
Hit the gym.
Develop your personal aesthetic.
Press the interaction.
Try to kiss her.
This isn't some hipster romantic comedy where you awkwardly trip and kiss her and then you get the girl.
She'll respect you more for being decisive than for not trying: regardless of what she vocalizes, observe only her actions. She will say many things publicly, overtly, whatever....but if she continues to come around you and put herself in your proximity...then really, your behavior is not something she's trying very hard to avoid.

Get to know some girls as friends. You'll see the disconnect between what they say versus what they do and feel and demonstrate.

They can tell themselves they want Michael Cera for days on end, until you and everyone in the world has heard it...but if she's not fucking some dude like him...then her reality does not meet her expectation.

Adjust your reality to meet this truth and you will begin to get better with women.
As long as you cling to expectations not tethered in how things actually perform....you will meet with cognitive dissonance, disappointment, and internal conflict.

Hear not what they say, but rather observe what they do.
If she wants to see you, she will make time if you pursue her.
Period.
If you want her, you must pursue her. Do not apologize for doing what men have always done.
Pursue what you want.
Be authentic and you will waste less time with girls who then in turn are not being authentic and friendzoning you because you pretended you wanted something other than sex IF that was what you eventually sought from her.

I'd rather get blown out in 2 minutes than spend an hour talking to a girl who's not interested.
I have only 24 hours in the day.
Then begin to subtract eating, sleeping, showering, training/the gym...et cetera.

I have a finite amount of time to accomplish what is important to me.

Go forth, good luck, and happy hunting.
     - Yrs. in Christ