Post Modern Dating Paradigm - There Are No Rules

God this above video reminds me of my ex-wife and I.


Nothing worth doing is easy.
Nothing that leaves you feeling like a man is effortless.

You want to get good with girls.
Go out.
Start talking to them.
It will be painful. It will be awkward.
Embrace the PROCESS.
You will talk to thousands of women in your life. Some guys won't.
If this one doesn't want to talk to you, there will be others.
There are 3 Billion plus women on earth.

You can rationalize that perceived rejection of pain as a reason to quit and live your life playing video games on STEAM or you can keep going.
You don't get to know or sleep with exactly 100% of the girls you don't talk to.


I'm sober now.
I've had to start doing this sober as a fuckin' whistle.
Development and progress have always been something I took garden variety. I fundamentally believe in incremental progress and by devoting at least some time each and every day to whatever is currently your top priority.

What follows though, having worked on approaching women sober is the success is wholly mine. I didn't have to get drunk to do it.
I didn't have to give away my success on the altar of getting lucky b/c I "was pretty drunk and it just happened" or "she only went with me because she was drunk," or "normally it wouldn't have happened".

In many ways I'm more authentic than I have ever been. I don't get drunk and exaggerate or hyperbolize or overcompensate for anxiety or nervousness and approach women who also have to be drunk enough to interact in a sexual or whatever way.

It's painful to a considerable extent watching the inhuman and unnatural mating dance that transpires downtown now that I'm sober.
Let's all get drunk enough that we can cram what we really want to say in the last hour before last call and ram it all out over pounding bass and top 40 (whatever the fuck that is nowadays) and have been wanting to say all night long and hopefully I'll talk to someone whose own inhibitions are also equally low enough that we can find some chaotic connection briefly in this fluctuating level of intoxication on a makeshift dancefloor or whatever hallway in which we find ourselves.

I've always been a guy that had women approach him at least occasionally.
Before it was because I was deeply pained and incongruent. I was a man child incapable of understanding the world without drugs and/or alcohol. Women want to fix things: men, homes, nests, children, the world (rather they like the IDEA of fixing these things, it plays on their nurturing nature and it gives their codependent side a sense of control in a world they find dangerous, uncertain, and frightening).

When you begin being direct with women you will get unfavorable reactions.
Keep going.
They are unnatural.
Society has programmed them to expect unnatural things from you.
You must short circuit that programming.
Know in your heart that it is normal for a man to approach a woman and determine if she is interested in him, and to determine if she is interesting.
Ignore the words, ignore the social construct programming.
Go for it.
Pull the trigger.

There are no rules.
The rules you think that govern human interaction are constructs.
Remember The Matrix?
"Try not to bend the spoon, rather, know that there is no spoon."

Society tells many of us from a young age that only certain types of girls have one night stands.
Society and women tell us they want a certain kind of man.
You see them date men that don't meet this description.
You experience cognitive dissonance.
You SHOULD realize that reality does not meet expectation.
You SHOULD realize therefore that what is said versus what is happening does not match.

The rules are false.
The rules are not real
Rules exists for those who choose to follow them.
That is it.
Does a gang member turn in his gun b/c a new law is passed?
Does a pot smoker stop smoking weed b/c the federal government says he can't?