Hurt

I've been drinking ever since my girl left town.
Even for me, it's been quite a bender.
I was driving to get coffee but I was drinking a beer at the same time.
I poured it out.

I can't think about tomorrow.
Or even later tonight.
I just have to not drink right now.

You have to be willing to grind through the pain to get to the other side.
My heart is hurting.
I feel lost.
I feel alone.
I feel like I'm clinging to the last rope I have left tying me to life.
This is where drinking takes me.
To the thought of killing myself.
I am fucking hurting.
I am afraid.

I miss my girl like crazy.

The desperation of faith is a powerful thing.
I have to believe I can overcome this because otherwise I honestly should kill myself.
I'm not being dramatic. I'm being rational. It's that moment when you realize if this is how you're going to live it's not really living at all.