If you want Zebras....go where the Zebras are.
It's an obvious comment....but it bears consideration.
IF you want the types of chicks that go to bars and want typically meaningless attraction/flirting...go to bars and clubs. If you want some overhyped, over dressed, spends half of her salary or her parental allowance on overpriced dresses and shoes, go to those types of clubs.
Consider this: Have you ever heard what a girl says about "meeting a guy at a bar"?
She's embarrassed to admit it (once she's not in college).
If you're wanting to date womynz and not girlz....do the math.
Girls may go there, they may make out with, grind her ass on some dude's crotch, hell, even occasionally go home with a guy....but take it from an attractive, fashionable, not-awkward guy...it happens less than all the internet field reports will tell you.
With practice and enough attempts, of course, you will see success.
But it banging some drunk chick you made out with and sucked face with while dancing to One Direction that awesome after you've proved to yourself you can do it?
Beyond that, once you've proved it, it is all but meaningless minus the truth about some women it teaches you.
IF you want that type of girl....look at the type of guy they date.
Be that guy.
Girls take most of their cues from their social circle.
If her friends date meat head douchebags with mohawks and spray tan....you may on the outside chance date her....but then you'll be fucking around those clowns/guys dating her friends whenever the weekend rolls around simply to ingratiate yourself into her and her circle.
You reap what you sow.
Personally?
I like semi-shy, perhaps even slightly awkward girls, that don't realize quite how sexy they are.
Some will poo poo and think it's b/c I want to manipulate, whatever. Go choke on a dick.
I've always been turned off by glammed up girls, completely fake looking, with tons of make-up and completely over done. I'd rather a girl be nearly flat chested than have obviously fake tits.
There is nothing quite so sexy to me as a semi-nerdy girl who doesn't realize quite the power of her sexuality.
Perhaps it's the potential....perhaps it's the genuinity they exude....
Perhaps it's b/c they may have read something other than twitter or Cosmo in the past 6 months.
They also probably have a *gasp* intellectually demanding job.
At any rate....you have to ask yourself and honestly look around at the places you go: will I find the type of girl I like at this venue?
I've met and slept with girls I met at every conceivable venue you can imagine: gay clubs, strip clubs, planes, raves, clubs, bars, abroad, gay bars abroad, bookstores, college parties, frat parties, online....you-fucking-name-it.
How many of the ones I met were high value at most of the above?
Very few.
If you want quality...honestly, you have to think outside the box.
Besides, common interests lead to higher rates of attraction (certainly for girls who have a fucking mountain size list of "what I want in a man" regardless of what they may say).
You need only go to a venue on different nights a few times to ascertain this unalterable fact.
Now, I'm always willing to stop in a place on any given night at almost any given time......but I will not fucking stay at a venue that is clearly not in a niche where I have success or wish to have success.
If I'm out to have a beer with my buddy, that's fine. We can bullshit at whatever dive bar we're at doing man talk and just chilling....but if I'm looking to approach, I'm probably going to go solo and I'm going to hammer the spots where I've had prior success.
Anything else is throwing good money after bad.
I know where my gold mine, unequivocally is.
I even have one that it location independent (awesome).
I can find mine in many different locations outside of my city/town/state/country.
If you don't have one.
This is your mission.
Anything else, day after day, weekend after weekend mindlessly going to the same fucking place you go every fucking weekend and met some cool chick 2 years ago.....you're insane or just willing to let fate, chance, the wind, the flying spaghetti monster bring you the chick you won't admit you genuinely want to meet and connect with intimately for more than some randum drunken fuck on your friend's shitty couch.
You are passively accepting failure and letting fear of failure dictate your chances of success.
Do what you've always done....get what you've always gotten.
I was married for nearly two years.
It's been unfucking godly rough getting back into the game, let me tell you.
I've been handed more if not almost as many blow offs and blank looks since then than I did in probably the time from when I left college to when I got married combined.
No fucking bullshit. Real talk.
Granted I'm approaching without ascertaining interest, and I'm forcing approaches with girls that aren't always my type...b/c I know I have to grind through and sharpen my teeth again.
Awhile back I got blown off more in one night than my one buddy has seen me get blown off in several years of knowing me. Real fucking talk now.
He used to see me as the guy that rarely if ever fucking misses.
Straight dope.
You think I liked that fucking shit?
On top of all the fucking angst and little voices of doubt about ending my marriage and money and life.....I gotta slog through getting blown out by chicks that aren't even so much my type.....but I can't let that discourage me or become a crutch or reason to sit on my stool and bullshit and rationalize why I'm not approaching.
I've had to try different venues and strike out harshly as of late b/c I'm completely out of practice, it's winter-cold-ish-time, I'm going through a lot of inner turmoil so my regularly congruent and composed and at peace state is way off center, and my radar is completely off almost all but when the three girls came after me across the last several months.
The odds are completely not in my favor.
This forces me to let go of control, buckle up my seatbelt, close my eyes and just fucking swing at the ball and steel myself to the task. To grind through interactions, get over my approach anxiety, and start analyzing things again.
First you start approaching like a mad man.
Then you start refining the approach.
You start shaping your venue selection, where you set up spot in the venue and what time you arrive.
Then you start relaxing and letting go of outcome expectation.
Things eventually start to click and you get back into the groove/vibe/zone/rhythm/whatever.
Good luck and happy hunting.
"If it was easy, everyone would be good at it."
- Yrs. in Christ
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