Rebuild and Repeat

Studying: History of non-canonical works
(Re)Reading: The Importance of Being Earnest
Reading: about the rise of Piracy off the coast of Africa and the International Monetary Fund

Passing time.
It's a necessary rebuilding phase I tell myself.
Pendulum theory of life: you're either on the upswing or the downswing. That brief, briefest of the brief moments whereupon you hit the zenith and you see out over the hills and the valleys and you realize this is as good as it gets.....that flame flashes with temeritysurpassed by only its brevity.

Money's tight due to some of my most recent choices and nearly losing everything.
It's fine.
Could certainly be worse I tell myself.

I could use the quiet time to perhaps process everything that's changed about my life in less than a month.
I know that's a lie. Hungry like the wolf, I'll press forward in dogged pursuit of my desires.

The changes I knew were coming and must come.....have finally come to pass.
The cost proved even greater than anticipated.
I tell myself the weather will warm in a few months. The birds will head out and sing. The heavy clothes will fall away and I'll have funds to enjoy the possibilities of summer and moving.

I've found that loud, noisy club/bars are no longer my suit either.
I lack the desire, energy, and emotional crack rock to pump myself up into one of those ridiculous-haired peacock douches that populate such places. And as pretty as some of the girls may seem, having talked to one ranks slighly above the feeling of slamming my dick in a car door repeatedly.

I found myself reticent to plan jaunts to such venues around the time before I was married and my time out of the game has solidified that exit stage right as they say.
I've burned out some of my excitement for those dark trips into the rabbit hole of a late dark night.
Need to recharge the battery as they say.

Time to start building back up some prospects.
B/c right now I am officially at zero.

Nowhere to go but up, right?
Believe in the process. Believe in the system. Put in your time.
Try and fail and stand up, brush yourself off, try again.
The resultls will be the same if you don't try.
Fortune favors the bold.

   - Yrs. in Christ