Love, Lust, Loss, and Life

More spot on fucking truth over at Post Masculine
Side Note: Watching Teen Mom 2 and the fantasy that dudes just continually sign up to date and live with a young mom with a kid or even more hilariously twins (one of whom has a disability). Fucking hilarious. I don't know that I'll sign a lease to live with another woman for a very long time to come unless I know I can cover it on my own when we inevitably split up and she bounces.
Getting married didn't change my life much.....but deciding to get divorced made very clear to me the powerful bonds of control that marriage means legally and financially.
Cue the powerful acoustic guitar solo at the end of Teen Mom 2.
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I'm drinking Rum mixed with Grapefruit juice.
Which means I'm not moving out of state nor am I seeking treatment.
I'll likely start attending meetings again b/c they are a good reminder to keep the beast at bay.

My wife is gone.

I'm sitting alone, naked on the floor, enjoying my buzz.

Homegirl started texting me again.
She doesn't know about my inadvertent discovery of her activities after she left town.
But then, that's not my style.
My flair for the dramatic means I have to go catastrophic bombshell when I reveal what I know and phrase it eloquently and articulately.
I've always been one to play super cool and quiet when I find out you wronged me.
I take stock of the situation....wait and see....and plot my response with laser-like precision and poignant timing.

I don't fuck with people that jerk me around nor do I just let them walk away unscathed.
B/c I'm a fucking expert on predicting and interpreting things like this, I'm sure the guy she was with  or started seeing (based on how long she went silent) blew her off or went back to his ex before her or some other such bullshit or bailed on her in some capacity...and now she's planning to slowly creep back into my life to get that emotional sustenance the emotional vampires that nearly all girls are require.
But I do know now that I am dealing with a motherfucking expert professional extraordinaire in the art of manipulation. But I also know that her expertize falters when she's single and it flairs its head best when she's got a guy on the side to fall back on. Like me, she's probably hopelessly afraid of being alone. Based on what I know about her past, I'm positive she has abandonment issues.
Nietzche said it I believe, man desires two things: danger and play and as such he desires woman as his plaything.

Well, game has recognized game.

And b/c I am part passive/aggressive and part vindictive.....I will let her slide back in furtively and surreptitiously for a short while.
Then I will tip the tables to my favor and/or show her that I do not take being jerked around lightly and make her grovel if I play the cards right.
Also b/c I hate myself for letting her slide in deep underneath my radar. 
Whether this plan comes to fruition....it was a good reminder. She was a fucking ringer if I ever met one. I'm honestly fucking impressed to the 9's by her game and manipulation and camouflage.

If she'd simply told me she had a dude back home or dudes back there she might go back to, fine.
I was fucking in the middle of a divorce.
I wasn't going to judge.
But instead, she had to give me the song and fuckin' dance.
Then because she's a girl and sucks at managing technology I see it plain as day coupled with her projecting it all on me like I'm this needy fucking bitch motherfucker.

Bitch, please.
As it is, I must rest and recuperate for another day on the grind.
Hoist the black flag.
It's going to get hectic the next few months people.