I'm standing in a dive-ish bar on a weeknight.
I've somehow shifted from 1st to 4th and my buzz is hitting hard.
A girl who now that I'm sauced is actually less cute (how rarely this happens?) turns and talks to me as I'm chatting up another girl.
The girl talking to me that interrupts....she was cuter from a distance and before she opened her mouth.
She would pick this moment just as I was sliding into set with a friend of my buddy's girl.
This girl blathering to me out of convention as she's less cute than the girl I was talking to....she's a hair dresser.
Surprise.
So is her trashy(ier) looking friend.
Surprise.
She's younger than me but could pass for older.
Surprise.
They both compliment my hair which I take in stride b/c it happens almost daily.
They both then proceed to tell me what I should do with it. Somehow this bothers me.
I start to see why they are both single.
That insistent tone of voice....and so certain about this or that...then I figure out what it is.
Every sentence has the word "should".
How things "should be" what I "should do" how things "should turn out" when they're classes they take "should prepare them" for blah blah fucking blase blah. The programming takes over and I largely ignore her and I don't know it but she waits in the wings until last call.
She chats me up, asks all those indicators of interest about what I do, where I'm from, in fact, she rapid fire assaults me to the point that I feel bewildered. Her social awkwardness is well-hidden until she speaks. She tells me she likes hoola hooping (spelling? who the fuck cares, hula or whatever you call them hoops are fucking lame).
Yep.
She's one of those girls. A girl with a fucking hula hoop at a dive-ish bar awkwardly and in her own passive/aggressive away demanding attention.
I could fucking punch her for this trite and hackneyed display.
At any rate, she claims she has lost her keys and her friend has left (as it turns out she told her friend to leave so I'd be stuck driving her home).
I drive her home and I don't quite recall but I remember being irritated and leaving.
She finds me on facebook somehow by the next morning and friend requests me.
I doubt I gave her my last name as the first thought I had upon seeing her friend request was that there was no way I was interested in her.....with that sense that I'd made that decision hours before when I was still awake and still around her.
The predictability with which all of this happens does nothing to mitigate my irritation nor my hangover.
The grind continues unabated.
I'm pressing into that moment when the fun of the pursuit feels like some distant memory that you're not even sure is yours or that perhaps is something a friend told you about whilst you were drunk one time....you insist to yourself in the silence that approaching is fun, that this is part of the process, that it will eventually pay off. But you're also facing diminishing returns be it: venue selection, lack of selection, or just lacking in positive responses.
I know this socially awkward girl wants to go out....but she's not cute enough, interesting enough, or socially aware enough to go on this ride.
There was a time when I'd slog through and ignore all those indicators and nail her anyway.
But as it is....I'm trying to turn over a new leaf (always hated that phrase) and be up front about my wants, desires, and what I'm willing to accept and/or be to others.
As it is...I'm growing tired of the pursuit for the time being. I'm fairly certain like looking for keys, I'll find what I want when I stop looking.
As it was the last two girls.
I also question if part of that success was those girls weren't from my current location.
But then, that will do nothing to aid me in pursuit of the fairer sex where I currently reside....so I press forth.
We shall see what the weekend holds in store for your humble narrator.
Good luck and happy hunting,
- Yrs. in Christ
No comments:
Post a Comment