Life in the Age of Byrony

I'm standing downtown.

I'm drunk.

I'm at a local college bar on college night but finals are coming up and thus the pickings are slim. I see a couple of decent options but I'm enjoying this Maker's and Ginger waaaaay too much to spit some game at some young birds.
The call of the wild struck me hard after a rough several days grinding it out in the gym.
I've got money in my pocket, free time, and nothing to do the next day.....so here I am. I run into some mutual acquaintances of my buddy but I don't find myself plussed with their lackluster personalities and generally unkempt appearance. I hit downtown briefly but again the reality of the lack of general awesomeness of this city strikes me so I pick up some beer for the BYOB strip club in our town that serves after hours but the selection is so poor I find myself in that terrible position of not only money to spend and booze to drink but no cute naked girls on which to floss it.

Truly terrible times indeed, my good readers.
I wake up not too hungover and grind it out at the gym then go have sex with my ex-girlfriend.
There are worse ways to spend your ****day.