Paying the Piper/Be Willing to Walk Away

Face the boogeyman

See the Matrix for What it is

I've been called into a meeting with HR.

I always doomsday prep for when things like this fall out of the sky.
My personal shortcomings have long bordered on the zone of "grounds for dismissal" and it will come as no surprise if this is the case. You can only be brazen personally for so long before it catches up with you professionally. I like what I do and I am absurdly good at it.
That being said, if they don't give me a pass or suggest I quit quietly I doubt I will.

I can find other jobs that way what this one does and my resume is preposterously good.
I've always managed to balance my iniquity with professional performance but that may have come to an end. I've got some back-up plans, a car that's almost paid off, some money squirreled away for a rainy day such as this.

I don't always plan ahead but I do expect/prepare for the worst in my own pessimist's way.

More importantly, change, forced or not, is a catalyst for progress if you choose to make it so.
It will force me to likely move on to greener pastures as I've grown complacent and eaten the lotus that is satisfaction for what I do rather than more financial compensation.

I know guys that lose their fucking minds if they think they might lose their job. They sweat bullets if their boss throws them an odd glance.
I don't care.
I don't say this to brag. I say this because a man who fears that button-up, white collar slave world of imaginary power deserves every ounce of anxiety he feels.

Much like regret, fear is a choice. To quote that lame movie with Will Smith and his son on the alien planet, "Danger is real. Fear is a choice."

Will it be uncomfortable? Am I stressed about bills? Could it lead to further complications? Yes.
So could getting into a car accident when I leave this café.

I have found through hard fought trial and tribulation that the things we fear most, when they do come to pass, in the long run often bring change that is ultimately good and something we could not have consciously sought out on our own.

This sounds like cheesy, new age, mystical/spiritual mumbo jumbo but and I am a doubting Thomas to be sure....but it has simply been my personal experience.

Don't live in fear.
It's a choice.

   - Yrs. in Christ