Low Altitude

Tired.
High.
But not high enough to sleep.

I feel a faint shiver of him slide across my shoulders.
Earlier, he urged me to head back out after dinner.
I passed and thankfully I'm home safe and sound.
Away from the world and though I'm ill at ease being unable to sleep....I'm far happier were I traversing downtown right now.
Long week at work. Tired from the gym.
Tired from everything from last weekend.

I searched my feelings today. They are gone.
I checked inside the ice box that passes for my chest, and my feelings had left me a note: it read "see you on the other side, regards".

As it is, I'll continue paying my penace over her.
It could only ever be this way. I felt it early on.
I felt this deep and profound sense that we would be torn apart.
That I wouldn't let it work out.
And that perhaps, one day.....
At least, these are the things I whisper in silence as I shut my eyes.