Walking the (Thin) Line

Getting *&^% then heading to one of my jobs.
Not in the mood today.
When are we ever really?
Actually, most days I don't care.
I'd be wasting the time doing some other bullshit anyway.

But, I do miss my leisure reading time now that I'm gainfully employed more hours out of the week.
I miss the morning sleep. When that alarm goes off at ***am, there's that initial haze of realizing it is time to rise and begin what will be a long fucking day.

It it what it is. I'm leaving here one way or the other in the next * months.
I'd rather do it with a semblance of a safety net than without.

I remember standing in on the west coast, looking at the waves, and I still felt that connection to her.
I have days where the line is dead. There is no signal.
Then there are other moments that cut across space and time and I know that some live wires never die.
At least this is what I tell myself so as not to feel...something wordless, something inarticulable....some voiceless whisper strumming the chords of my being.