Absence

I don't need anyone.
I don't fucking need anyone.
I'll figure it out.
I always do.
It will be painful and it will be tough. And I will cry.
But, I will fucking figure it out like I always do.

And I will be stronger after the fact.
"This above all, to your own self be true."

They want you do to change.
No, at first they say you can be you.
They say the one thing no girl has ever told you.
Just be your fucked up self. Just be the same narcissistic alcoholic you've always been.
Then...you change.
You drink less. But when the demon comes out, it's a bit worse than before.
But it only happens every few months now. You used to drink every single day. You went nearly 3 months without getting drunk just awhile ago.

Despite your newfound stability punctuated by problem drinking every couple months....she thinks your level of instability was predictable (wtf?) when you drank every single day and you were so numbed you never really got out of hand..

But now, she misses the old known quantity of instability. Over the new, volatile instability that blows up only very rarely.

I don't even know what to say.