I kick it with my neighbors for memorial day. I introduce myself and get hammered with them and it's a good time. Good because I save money by getting hammered at home. Good because I don't drive. Good because I kill the day and relax and laugh and have a good time.
My girl leaves town for the holiday to see family and I miss her. She's turned the corner and I realize that I can't leave her nor break it off. This is a fuckin' problem because I have this young girl still working hard and doing her best to endear herself to me and there's a lot of proximity due to how we know one another and mutual friends and I'm this close to regretting slipping up back on *($#*($*(@*# and waking up naked in her bed. It's as complicated as it is simple.
I feel the slide of my decision-making into questionable territory.
I spend the weekend with my girl until she leaves town. She's a handful to put it mildly and she's prone to volatility but it's a small trade for how great she is in other ways. I realize that I've been stupid risking what I have with her by continuing on with this young girl and I come to know what I must do. I have to end things now before they get further out of hand.
This must be what maturity feels like.
Wow.
My girl leaves town for the holiday to see family and I miss her. She's turned the corner and I realize that I can't leave her nor break it off. This is a fuckin' problem because I have this young girl still working hard and doing her best to endear herself to me and there's a lot of proximity due to how we know one another and mutual friends and I'm this close to regretting slipping up back on *($#*($*(@*# and waking up naked in her bed. It's as complicated as it is simple.
I feel the slide of my decision-making into questionable territory.
I spend the weekend with my girl until she leaves town. She's a handful to put it mildly and she's prone to volatility but it's a small trade for how great she is in other ways. I realize that I've been stupid risking what I have with her by continuing on with this young girl and I come to know what I must do. I have to end things now before they get further out of hand.
This must be what maturity feels like.
Wow.
This happened to me in the last year or so, I just turned 39.Sex is no longer such a high priority, I figured it like this. I lasted longer then I ever expected to live, now I like my peace of mine. In fact I rather be alone most of the time then around people, women included.
ReplyDeletebut in my optimistic mind I still search for the one that will make me happy, one that I will mesh with forever thus leaving me depressed pissed off at the world most
of the time... that's life
It's like searching for unicorns at the bottom of the ocean really.
someone wrote a book with a good title about this, it's called "love and other unattainable things" lmao.