Redo

I've settled back into normalcy.
I had one lapse and went back out for a night but regretted it and now I've been ** weeks.
I've been grinding it out at the gym, I'm feeling better health-wise and my sanity is returning.
Bought a new car, moved from my place, and I broke up with the girl I was seeing.

I'm seeing someone else and I've been good about avoiding temptation.
It takes time to adjust to this new way of living.
Sobriety is not for the faint of heart.
Emotional sobriety is even tougher.
Being a different person but not losing who you were....it's this constant juggling act.

I've retreated into the grind of training which helps 6 out of 7 days a week but even then....I ask if it's enough?

As it is, I pull her close to me and she's normal and she's not like me.
I force myself to block out the questions of the future....and I force myself to live in the day and perhaps consider the next day but that's it.

I fill up my free time as much as I can, I start reading voraciously again. I eat healthy and begin to put on some weight.
I train beyond reason and simplify my life to the extreme.
Train. Eat. Work. Eat. Train. Some sleep.
Time with her.
Sleep.
Train.
Eat.

Right now, I deliberately keep my life as simple as possible and it's easy. I know it won't stay this week if I don't stay on guard.

I've got my sober shoes back on and that's how it has to be.