I hit the gym hard and it's time to rest.
I fight the urge to go out and drink but I don't.
I settle for a couple tall boys from the gas station.
I put on a lecture/speech by one of my favorite philosophers ("no society wants you to be wise") and I sit back and sip my beer.
I have a big fight with my girlfriend and it's over some trivial bullshit, and I put it out of my mind.
I sit back and appreciate the hard work I've put in at the gym lately and I look forward to the road ahead.
--
You start to open your eyes slowly.
It hurts at first to begin to doubt the structure and the system and big brother and the whole corrupt matrix.....but once you have that fucking sip....that sip of the truth and that sip of the taste of doubting the certainty authority...that healthy distrust of authority....it stays with you.
You walk the path and it's lonely at times and it is laden with doubt and solitude and dizzying heights and sheer cliffs on each side....but once that bit of truth begins to whisper to you...you trudge forward with nothing by your side but the faith in the light that you may not even be able to see....blind faith as it were at times....blind....faith....and dare I say it.....hope.
I look back on the arrest(s) and the jail....and I needed to learn some humility. I needed it to be taught to have some compassion for my fellow man or woman or person.
I needed to set aside my need to judge in order that I might feel (falsely) better about my (false) perception of self.
I don't regret the mistakes and I don't regret the failures. I hold them closer to my heart far more desperately than I do any of my victories or successes. It is in failure I have learned far more about myself, or if not, then in the aftermath of crushing, debilitating failures.
I needed them and if I'm being honest, I need more of them and will need more of them down the road. Pride is a dangerous tool to wield....hubris the double edged sword the crazy carry so easily.
Good luck and happy hunting,
- Yrs. in Christ
I fight the urge to go out and drink but I don't.
I settle for a couple tall boys from the gas station.
I put on a lecture/speech by one of my favorite philosophers ("no society wants you to be wise") and I sit back and sip my beer.
I have a big fight with my girlfriend and it's over some trivial bullshit, and I put it out of my mind.
I sit back and appreciate the hard work I've put in at the gym lately and I look forward to the road ahead.
--
You start to open your eyes slowly.
It hurts at first to begin to doubt the structure and the system and big brother and the whole corrupt matrix.....but once you have that fucking sip....that sip of the truth and that sip of the taste of doubting the certainty authority...that healthy distrust of authority....it stays with you.
You walk the path and it's lonely at times and it is laden with doubt and solitude and dizzying heights and sheer cliffs on each side....but once that bit of truth begins to whisper to you...you trudge forward with nothing by your side but the faith in the light that you may not even be able to see....blind faith as it were at times....blind....faith....and dare I say it.....hope.
I look back on the arrest(s) and the jail....and I needed to learn some humility. I needed it to be taught to have some compassion for my fellow man or woman or person.
I needed to set aside my need to judge in order that I might feel (falsely) better about my (false) perception of self.
I don't regret the mistakes and I don't regret the failures. I hold them closer to my heart far more desperately than I do any of my victories or successes. It is in failure I have learned far more about myself, or if not, then in the aftermath of crushing, debilitating failures.
I needed them and if I'm being honest, I need more of them and will need more of them down the road. Pride is a dangerous tool to wield....hubris the double edged sword the crazy carry so easily.
Good luck and happy hunting,
- Yrs. in Christ
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