Tawdry is as Tawdry Doesn't

Been busy with working my several jobs and the gym.
Haven't been as much in the program and perhaps it's my self-will or whatever, but I feel fine.
Finding the balance between the other parts of my life, work, and the program is a work in progress.
Haven't met anyone of interest in quite awhile.
I did sleep with my ex-girlfriend again after she hit me up out of the blue.
That much is unsurprising I suppose.
I realized more than ever that I don't actually miss her conversation that much.
We didn't really enjoy the same things beyond a good meal or a shared company type of night out.
Being sober clarifies some things about just how little binds two people.
Got an errant text from the girl I got involved with around the time I separated from my wife.

The winter of discontent begins and I know more than ever that when I leave this state it will be for a warm(er) place.

Perhaps Rand is right, and I'm simply finally searching for a woman worthy of my affections.
The cheap thrills section of my life and its tawdry rewards do not seem to tempt the sober version of myself.

I suppose, I always suspected there might come a time to put away childish things.
As it is, I'm feeling a bit like an emotional vampire overgrown with ennui and weariness.
World-weary and nonplussed, I put on my Chucks and head out into the cold(er) fall evening air.