Time, Tide, Trials, and Tribulations

Sitting at favorite coffee shop.
Headed to court soon.
I keep my mind off it at much as possible with training and life and my financial concerns about food and gas.
I'm about as close to rock bottom as I've ever been, one catastrophe away from what I've worked for the past * years post college slipping from my grasp.

But as it is...I'm back to appreciating the simple feel of wind, sun, time training, and the like.

My girlfriend's been problematic as of late and she's so list of what I'm fighting to keep at this point I don't even think of her much. I never realized how much I actually had until I now see how close I am to losing it all.
I'm one of those people....I was never meant to have a lot of money or fame or any of that b/c I would probably kill myself in about 6 months time.
As it is, despite how tight things are....I'm having days that are more good than bad and I'm appreciate the simple pleasures of my life.

Girls and partying are so far removed from my list of concerns and priorities it's laughable.
These are the times you see who cares about you and who doesn't. The people who have time for you when they have nothing to gain from you, rather they make time b/c they simply care about you.
I'm paying it all forward when I can and appreciating another level of perspective I'd lost during the time of my divorce/separation.

If I can happiness and contentedness in this maelstrom of uncertainty, then when I overcome these things and the debts are paid in full....I'll feel the warmth of freedom and ease of peace of mind I haven't known since the start of this year.

I have paid so much more than I expected in pursuit of regaining my freedom....but with all that uncertainty....has come a pleasantry I had forgotten whilst embroiled in the institution of marriage and the certainty of a life so ordinary.

"Too strange to live, yet too rare to die."

   - Yrs. in Christ