Distance & some Links!

Go read this post about manosphere (God, I hate that term) and the plight of the man blogs out there:

Delicious Tacos on some very real talk as well:

Add'l real talk from Delicious Tacos:


I'm tired man. I'm very tired.
I'm sitting in church.
Seriously.
That feeling when you're broken and you need to just see what normal fucking people do?
Well, I have it and I'm sitting in church. The hands raised, in prayer and all the Jesus and GOD stuff creeps me out, and yes, the people are robots the way drunks are at the other end of the selfish/selfless spectrum, whatever.

I'm listening to sermon which features the line "if you want what normal people have, do what normal people do."

I silently ask myself if he's read my blog.
I soak in the normalcy of these people. I wrap it around me and for a time I escape thinking about the people I know who have relapsed and those stepping closer to it all the time.

I get in my car and leave afterward. I go to meetings all day and surround myself with addicts and alcoholics and it helps for a time. I escape in the pain of others more acute than my own.

But the raw truth is I am fucking struggling. It's been ** days sober and this is another day of shit.
I'm waking up and it's time to take another bite of this shit sandwich. I'm not feeling gratitude or fucking anything but.....fear and loathing.

I'm suffering from a serious bout of Cynicism ala Southpark.
I know it will pass, but fuck man, it is fucking strong right now.
The waves pass over me in undulation.

Good luck and happy hunting,
         - Yrs. in Christ