Notes From the Underground

"Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune." - Thomas Fuller

Sdtrack


I'm sitting downtown.
Alone. No, not quite.
I'm texting my favorite blogger.
It feels familiar.
Not in a bad way. It feels comforting.
Someone that doesn't judge.
Someone that understands.
Someone that accepts.
Everything else is in transition.
The old me would have driven as fast as possible downtown when I felt this way and drank until I woke up hungover then somehow limped into work.
Tonight, I'll barely finish my 2nd beer and consider calling it a night.
But, she'll tell you I haven't changed...or that I have....or both. Depends on the day.
Fuck it.

You know the feeling. The feeling that one of these days you're going to pack a handful of possessions and leave and not look back.

The feeling that you're reaching the tipping point.
The point where all that's left is a bus ticket through the night and starting over from scratch.
The point where people will be hurt, and as usual, left with no explanation, but you swore to yourself when you were a little kid if your life was like this you would fucking just up and leave and not look back.
That life was short.
That you were not going to waste your time.
That if you woke up to this, it was the sign of the time and the sign pointed to "getting the fuck out of Dodge".

At the end of the day, you've always felt deep down, at the end of the day...that no one is entitled to an explanation.
That sometimes....you have to save yourself first.